Thinking With Portals
by silverdoe394
Summary: *Spoilers for Thor Ragnarok* Where was Loki when he was falling through Doctor Strange's portal for thirty minutes? Apparently, Jane and Darcy's apartment.


**A/N:** Idea came from articianne's fan drawing on Tumblr: post/167131996024/bonus-he-fell-for-thirty-minutes-in-their - - - I just loved it and wanted to make it into a story. Probably will just be a one-shot.

* * *

Monday morning had dawned upon the apartment of Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis. Darcy, who usually woke up later than Jane, found her in the kitchen eating her cereal and writing down notes in her journal, per the usual. Darcy began to make herself a cup of coffee and stared over Jane's shoulder while she waited for the coffee maker to heat up the water.

"You know I hate when you do that," Jane said without lifting her head up from the page she was looking over.

"What else am I supposed to do when waiting for my coffee? Sit alone with my thoughts?" Darcy joked. Jane ignored her and scribbled something in the margins. "Doesn't matter, I can't understand most of what's in there anyway."

When Darcy's coffee was all done, she poured it into a mug and came to the table. Jane moved her journal and books so Darcy could sit.

"When's Erik coming over again?" Darcy asked.

"Tomorrow. Sometime after four," Jane replied, still not looking up from her research. Darcy knew Monday mornings were killer, but man, Jane was a freaking zombie.

"It's been weeks, I miss him. I'm glad he's visiting." Jane gave a 'hm' in agreement.

"Gonna be one of those mornings," Darcy said to herself. She picked up her phone and browsed through Twitter to see what has been posted since she went to sleep last night, which took her about two minutes until she shut her phone off out of boredom. TV wasn't an option because it would distract Jane from her work and she'd get snapped at. It was mornings like this where she really wished they owned a dog or a cat when Jane wasn't feeling particularly sociable; but Darcy could barely take care of a goldfish, so that was out too.

And as if some divine being had taken pity on Darcy's boredom, something – someone, fell from their apartment ceiling and broke the silence with shouting, then disappeared through the floor.

"What the hell?!" Darcy shrieked, almost spilling her coffee.

Jane startled and looked back and forth between where the sound had come from and Darcy's bewildered face. "What was that?"

Darcy had to wait a few moments for her heart to stop pounding from the sudden commotion. When she settled down, she mustered a response: "It was a man falling through… our ceiling?"

"A – a what?" Jane furrowed her eyebrows. "A man?"

Darcy nodded. "I think so?"

"Who?"

"How the hell should I know?"

Jane opened her mouth to say something else, when it happened again. She wheeled her head around in reaction to the shouting, but the man had disappeared again.

"Okay, what the hell is happening?" Darcy yelled as she fled to the opposite side of the room.

Twice meant that something was going on. Jane made sure she wouldn't miss it a third time, assuming it would happen a third time. "What did he look like?"

"I don't know!"

"Darcy, just calm down for a moment. Maybe they need our help."

"He was wearing all black, or something dark," she said, digging around her brain. "I dunno. My first priority wasn't to check the dude out!"

Then it happened a third time. Now that they were… somewhat prepared for another occurrence, both women saw the event in its entirety. It started with some kind of portal opening in their ceiling, then the man fell through it and the portal would close. Then a second portal opened in their floor, identical to the first one, and the man disappeared with it. Though this time, the only difference was that the man was no longer shouting; there was only a 'whump' sound as he fell.

Darcy was right, he was wearing dark clothes, and he had dark hair as well. They only saw his face for a fraction of a second, but Jane could tell who it was in an instant.

"Was that..?"

"Loki." Jane said. Goosebumps traveled down her arms and neck. She had met the man in person for a very brief time, and was certainly not looking forward to another encounter.

She scrambled for her phone. "We need to call the Avengers."

"Normally I'd be with you on this one, Jane, but maybe we should hold off?"

Jane gave her friend a look like she was crazy. "He's the guy that tried to enslave the world!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know that. I'm just saying… It kinda looks like he's getting his ass handed to him right now." Then an idea came to her that made her smile. "You think Heimdall's messing with him?"

Jane shook her head. "The Einstein-Rosen Bridge is huge. I traveled through it; it doesn't look like that. You've seen what it looks like, remember?"

"Yeahhh, but who else could it be?" Darcy crossed her arms and leaned against the wall.

"This isn't funny, Darcy!"

"No, you're right. It's hilari – Oh. There he goes again."

Jane flipped her journal to a new page, looked at the clock hanging above the TV, and wrote 8:03 at the top.

"What are you doing?"

"Timing how often it's happening," Jane said, watching the second hand making its rotation.

"Only you could turn this into a science experiment." Darcy took a sip of her coffee, but she couldn't help but look up at the clock too. Their apartment fell silent as they watched the clock.

Again, Loki entered their apartment and disappeared just as soon. Jane recorded the time in her journal.

"8:05. That was two minutes on the dot."

"Well, while you're doing that, I'm gonna pull up a chair, get a front row seat."

"Don't do that! He could hurt you," Jane said with worry, though she kept her eyes on the hands of the clock.

"I think he's got enough of his own problems to deal with at the moment," Darcy replied nonchalantly, dragging a chair closer to Loki's corner. Her phone was out and the camera rolling. Forty-five seconds of nothing, then Loki fell through again and disappeared. She cut the recording and played it back. "Sweet."

"8:07," Jane said from the table. "Exactly two minutes again."

"I love a man that arrives on time. Shows he cares."

Jane rolled her eyes, which was exactly the reaction Darcy was looking for.

"You think Thor knows about this?"

Jane shook her head. "Darcy, I have no idea. Who knows what things Loki gets himself into?"

And at 8:09, right on time, Loki came again. But this time, he and Darcy made eye contact.

"Hooooly shit!" she screamed, jumping up and knocking her chair over in the process. "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy _shit_."

Jane's head whipped around to see Darcy panicking, pacing all over the room. "What?" No response. She waited a moment. "What?" Nope, she was still pacing. "Darcy, what _happened_?"

"He fucking – he SAW me. Looked into my eyes, Jane!" She put her hand over her mouth, then looked down at her now brown pants. "And I spilled my damn coffee."

Darcy marched to the kitchen counter and grabbed some paper towels that she ran under the sink to try to save her pants.

"Did he say anything to you?"

"No. He just saw me. Scared the ever-loving life out of me, though." She rubbed furiously at her pants and groaned. It was futile. They were ruined, and brand new too! Darcy shouted at the ceiling. "You owe me fifty bucks, pal!"

Then, suddenly, Darcy had an idea.

"Hey Jane, tear out a piece of paper for me?" She looked back at Darcy with puzzlement, but eventually handed her a sheet.

On the paper, Darcy wrote something, then walked over to where the portal had been appearing, and placed the paper on the floor.

"What are you doing?"

"Asked Loki what the hell is going on and if he can do it in somebody else's apartment."

"Oh my god, Darcy."

"I'm not looking to be pen pals with him or anything. I'm just telling him to go away!" And just as she said it, Loki fell through the portals, and the paper disappeared with him.

Then the paper came back. It had appeared out of nowhere, and floated gently back onto the floor.

"Holy crap," Darcy said, bending a knee to grab it. Underneath Darcy's writing, was very messy writing underneath it:

 _Would if I could._

Jane left her post and rushed to Darcy's side. "Did he _write you back_?"

"Yeah… Why didn't it come back with him, though?" She grabbed the pen and started writing underneath his response.

"Are you actually responding? Stop!" Jane tried snatching the pen away, but Darcy was faster. She moved away from Jane before she could try to take it again.

"What's the worst he can do? Write 'kneel before me'? Give me a break." And she continued with her thought.

After she finished, she placed the paper on the floor again, now with her response to his: _You scared the crap out of us and you made me spill my coffee. Not cool. These pants cost fifty bucks._

For some reason, Loki could send it back to them instantly, but from their end he had to wait to receive it until he dropped in again; because it after it went with him, it came back by itself once again: _Apologies, but there isn't much I can do until the spell wears off. My magic hardly works here, though I was able to conjure up a pen. Is that Jane Foster?_

Darcy read it out loud. Jane hmphed at his inquiry about her. She had hoped that he'd forgotten about her; she'd certainly been trying to forget about him. Darcy tapped the pen against her chin, thinking of what to write next. When she thought of what to say, she sent it with her new response:

 _Yeah. I'm Darcy, her best friend. You probably don't remember, but we sorta met in New Mexico when you tried to blow Thor up and the town in the process with your Destroyer._

It came back.

 _I see. Shame we never met._

"What is THAT supposed to mean?" Darcy asked, showing the paper to Jane, who made a face that indicated she had no clue. Darcy wrote the exact words she had spoken at the bottom of the page. It disappeared with Loki, and again, came on its own.

 _It means that Jane Foster and I may not see eye to eye, but she has a very agreeable taste in best friends._

When it came back, Darcy wouldn't read it aloud; she was speechless. Jane took it from her, and it a few moments passed by until she was able find her words as well.

"Is he _flirting_ with you?"

"A – apparently?"

"Do _not_ send it back," Jane said.

"I'm not, I swear, I'm not. I mean, how do you even respond to something like that? Psycho Asgardian flirting with you from the next dimension."

It didn't matter anyway, because after that final exchange, Loki was no longer falling through their apartment. The two minutes since he last fell through had passed, then three, then four… When fifteen minutes had passed by, it seemed safe to assume he wasn't coming back.

"So… He's gone, right?" Darcy asked.

Jane nodded. "I think so."

"How long was that going on for?"

"I dunno, like thirty minutes or something," she said, looking at the clock, which was now telling them it was nearing 9 a.m. "So, um, we tell the Avengers or S.H.I.E.L.D. about this, right..?"

"I have no idea, man."

Jane took that as a yes, and called up the number Coulson gave her years ago that connects to S.H.I.E.L.D. The woman on the line said that agents would arrive at their apartment shortly, and told them to not leave under any circumstances.

While they waited for S.H.I.E.L.D. to arrive, the apartment was left to confused silence. But something had been bothering Darcy since the whole fiasco, and especially since that last response from Loki. She finally spoke up.

"Jane, you never told me Loki was kinda hot."


End file.
